My friend Rosemary has dating the biggest sweetheart ever, his name is Ben. One time she took this stupid quiz about how much she was worth, and it was only 30 pounds of gold or something. She was jokingly upset that she wasn’t worth much and so he went out and bought her 30 pounds of gourmet chocolates. Seriously, this guy was a dream. She had a huge “my boyfriend rocks” party where we all ate tons of the gourmet chocolates. It was seriously the best chocolate ever.
He was a little bit sad that she gave all of the chocolates away, but what was she expected to do, gain 30 pounds from eating all of those delicious chocolates? He understood that 30 pounds was pretty excessive, but she also made it very clear that he was the best boyfriend in the world for getting her so much chocolate. Seriously, I’ve dated a lot and those types of boys are hard to find. I have searched and searched, no one has bought me that much chocolate. Not even cumulatively over the course of a relationship. But I’m not bitter. No, seriously, I’m not. They eventually broke up, despite the adorable gift of a copious amount of chocolate.